Sunday, November 25, 2012

More Weather Problems

The wind continues to play havoc with my product. Yesterday it blew my wagon against a cliff wall and then moved the wall two feet further west. The wagon would have been shattered if it wasn’t full of Wizard Water©. The strength of my product reinforced the wagon frame and so averted complete disaster.

However, some inconvenience was incurred. The constant pressure of the wind blowing up from under the carriage pushed the bottles out of shape. They became narrower at the bottom and wider at the top. In fact, they strongly resembled gin bottles. At my next stop, a racetrack, I was delayed by a revenue man. I tried to explain to him that the containers were NOT gin bottles, merely victims of wind shear.

He would have none of it. He insisted I pay the required liquor tax. So I told him that I was selling a powerful new horse tonic. It was so strong, I declared, that it invacuated wide-based bottles and altered the shape of glass. Likewise it strengthened hooves and enabled a beast to leap twice the height of ordinary hurdles.

“Why do you think I am at a racetrack?” I said. “I did not wish to say so at first, but I am here to replenish the stock of a certain prize-winning jockey.”

He bought two cases.

I still believe that honesty is the best policy -- but only if it works.

Copyright © 2012 Laurie J. Anderson. All rights reserved.

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