Plan Your Garden With the Help of Wizard Water©!

As you look eagerly towards planting season, remember that Doc Johnson’s Wondrous Wizard Water^© makes an excellent seed-starter. If you have a sunny window and a spare table or other flat-surfaced furniture, you can place seeds in soil you have warmed by the fire to room temperature and dampened with a few drops of Wizard Water^© while the ground is still frozen outside. Many accomplished gardeners use this method to get a head start with their crops or household gardens.

A word of warning, though: only use this method on a few seeds, and in rooms with high ceilings! I knew a woman who didn’t heed this simple advice, and lived to regret it. She competed annually in the county agricultural fair, but rarely won. In an effort to beat her neighbors in the “early fresh produce” category, one February she planted four dozen tomato seeds in tin cans placed by every window in her house, and wet them very liberally with Doc Johnson’s Wondrous Wizard Water^©. She awoke the next morning to find her roof elevated off its moorings! The seeds had sprouted overnight and their accelerated growth placed her rafters at twice the height of the walls! She was so loathe to lose the potentially prize-winning tomatoes that her husband had to add a second storey to the home, at great expense.

In addition, the plants produced so many tomatoes, so quickly, that she wore herself out harvesting the fruit. They sprouted and ripened faster than she and her family could pick and eat them. Every few minutes, night and day for weeks, she had to toss freshly-ripened tomatoes into a laundry pot she kept in the back yard and boil them down. She managed to sell extra jars of her boiled-down tomatoes, but never won the blue ribbon she sought for fresh produce.

So let this be a lesson to eager agricultural competitors: use Wizard Water^© sparingly, or you will have to stew lots of tomatoes to catch up.