Never Leave Home Without Wizard Water

Never be caught without a bottle of Wizard Water^©. I once imprudently left a game of cards early, intending to take a brisk walk to the next town. I thought the town was a mere five miles away, but it turned out to be 20 miles. I discovered this after the first 11 miles.

Since the way back was further than the way forward, I soldiered on. Normally, I could count on a dose of my elixir to prevent weariness, but I’d bet my last bottle on the game. It was now in the possession of a cowboy named “Buckshot.”

After several hours I was so tired I couldn’t see my feet. I tripped on a rock, fell forward into a ravine, and rolled into the Brazos River.

I lost consciousness. The river carried my senseless body downstream. I awoke roughly 240 miles later on a sandbar near Waco, missing one boot, all my cash, and my hat.

Luckily it was Tuesday.

The week previous, I’d paid for a shipment of Wizard Water to arrive at the Waco train station. Once I realized where I was, I went to the station and picked up my goods. I sold them over the next week.

Thereafter I never gambled away my last bottle of Wizard Water. Nor should you.