Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Cure for Lost Shoes

horseshoe magnetDo you ever forget where you put your shoes? I knew a woman whose children constantly misplaced their boots. And though the family lived in a one-room cabin, she always had great difficulty finding their footwear first thing in the morning. One day all five pairs of boots might be sitting by the fireplace, another day she might find three left ones on a bedpost, two more in a windowsill, and six right ones under a pile of firewood.

"What am I to do, Doc?" she asked. "By the time I find my children's shoes, the sun is high in the sky and they are late for school."

I thought about her problem and came up with a solution -- and my latest invention -- magnetic soles.

"All you need do," I told her, "is run an iron baseboard around the inside of your cabin. Then tack these industrial magnets onto the bottom of your children's boots. The magnets are thick and resemble horseshoes, but if an equine animal can get used to metal footwear, surely your children, members of the human race and therefore superior creatures, can too."

The woman did as I suggested and reported success.

"Thanks to your invention, Doc, I always know where to look for my children's shoes -- along the baseboard," she said. " -- and if I tie the laces tight enough, that is where I can find the children, too."

copyright ©2011 Laurie J. Anderson, all rights reserved.

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