Coffee

A good pot of coffee is hard to beat. It wakes you up in the morning, keeps you alert on long rides, and warms you on cold nights. In fact, a good pot of coffee does the same things that a wife does, but at half the cost. The only drawback for bachelors is that they must fix the coffee themselves.

Here is my recipe:

- Bring a pot of water to a boil.
- Add a half pound of Arbuckles, taking care to remove the peppermint stick.
- Let it boil a good while - at least until the water is reduced by half.
- Add a drop or two of Wizard Water^©.
- Stick a metal implement that you are willing to part with, such as a bent nail or a broken horseshoe, into the pot. If the implement stands up on its own, and does not dissolve after five minutes, the coffee is ready.

This brew will keep you going for at least a week, sometimes longer. I knew a cowboy who fixed his coffee this way before a cattle drive and, even though he fell asleep during an all-night ride, he stayed upright on his horse with his eyes open. His frozen posture and intense stare so impressed his compatriots that they took the rest of the trip off, as he appeared able to keep both the cows in line and cattle thieves at bay. When the fellow awoke two days later, he found he had developed a bad case of insectivitis -- too many bugs in the eyes -- but the bonus money he earned for bringing the herd in early more than covered the cost of treatment.

If you are a cowboy contemplating this brew, keep in mind that you will also need a well-trained horse who is familiar with the route and doesn't startle easily. And be sure the horse knows that at the end of the trail he'll get the peppermint stick.

copyright ©2011 Laurie J. Anderson, all rights reserved.