Sunday, December 6, 2009

Christmas Surprises

They say that animals talk on Christmas eve, and if you happen to be nearby you can hear them speak. Well, about midnight one December 24th a few years ago I was bringing Bleb into the barn, when suddenly he asked me in plain English for ten dollars. He went on to explain that he wanted to enter a mule race the next day, to impress a certain lady mule he knew.

"What?!" I cried.

"Are you shocked to hear me speak? asked Bleb.

"No, I just didn't know that someone was holding a race on Christmas day," I replied. "Thanks for the tip."

I entered Bleb in the race, but I bet on another mule. Bleb lost, I won, and he hasn't spoken to me since.

* * *

Speaking of surprises, I'm preparing one for my wife this Christmas. I've been feeding whiskey to her prize milk cow. Any day now I expect it to start giving eggnog.

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