Christmas Surprises

They say that animals talk on Christmas eve, and if you happen to be nearby you can hear them speak. Well, about midnight one December 24th a few years ago I was bringing Bleb into the barn, when suddenly he asked me in plain English for ten dollars. He went on to explain that he wanted to enter a mule race the next day, to impress a certain lady mule he knew.

"What?!" I cried.

"Are you shocked to hear me speak? asked Bleb.

"No, I just didn't know that someone was holding a race on Christmas day," I replied. "Thanks for the tip."

I entered Bleb in the race, but I bet on another mule. Bleb lost, I won, and he hasn't spoken to me since.

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Speaking of surprises, I'm preparing one for my wife this Christmas. I've been feeding whiskey to her prize milk cow. Any day now I expect it to start giving eggnog.