Hard-Won Wisdom

When I was younger, before I’d discovered Wizard Water^©, I thought I’d seek my fortune by hunting gold. Panning in rivers was too cold and wet, though, and mining was too full of rocks. I settled on looking for buried treasure.

Rumor had it an old miner who’d died up in the hills had buried all his gold in a box somewhere near his cabin. Well I made my way up there, and noticed a big oak tree in a field within full view of his cabin, so that’s where I dug. Before long, my spade hit something hard. Just then I heard a loud snort, and felt hot breath on the back of my neck. I turned around to see a bull as big as a locomotive looking down at me.

I threw a spade-full of soil in his face, then lit up the tree. I reached safety, but that spade-full did nothing to improve the bull’s mood. He stood guard by that oak tree for the next three days and nights. I survived on bird’s eggs, acorns and rainwater. The bull pawed the ground around the tree so much that he exposed most of the buried box. Finally, a traveling preacher happened by. I promised him a hefty donation to his church if he’d help out. He ran to town, but the help he brought back also required payment. When I got back to town with the box, the sheriff reminded me of some fees I owed. So did the county judge. There was barely enough gold left to replace the pants I ripped when climbing up the tree.

So I learned a hard lesson: There is no quick way to riches – you always have to deal with some bull.

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