Modern Conveniences

Men who herd cattle live rough for long stretches of time. After months on the trail, cowboys will sometimes treat themselves to a fancy hotel room to wash the trail dust off as thoroughly as possible.

I once stayed at such a hotel in Big Piney, Wyoming. The owner decided to modernize and installed a piped, heated water system – the first in the region. Well, a cyclone came through. It destroyed the hotel and all the buildings around it. I survived by hiding in the root cellar. When I emerged, I heard a strange sound. I followed it to find a young man sitting in a bathtub amidst the remains of the hotel. There was wreckage all around him. He sat there wearing nothing but his birthday suit, oblivious to the devastation, talking to himself.

"Modern plumbing, modern plumbing!” he cried over and over.

 “Are you alright?” I inquired.

“Never again!” he exclaimed. “Never again! I heard about these new-fangled heated baths, so I thought I’d try one. Cost me fifty cents. Filled the tub from a spigot, nice as you please. Then when I figgered to leave, all I did was pull the plug."

"Well you seen what happened," he continued. "Doggone if the whole room didn't just drain away!”