A Pot of Stew

Wizard Water^© is a wonderful tonic, but do not use it as the basis for a meal. I had a customer who tried this with a pot of his wife’s rutabaga stew. In lieu of regular water, he emptied an entire case of Wizard Water^© into her kettle. He reported to me afterwards that he could not get to the bottom of the pot. His wife was overjoyed, and that winter served rutabaga stew every night. He grew quite tired of the stuff, but she would not hear of disposing of it. He offered the stew to neighbors and friends, and even to bankers in repayment for loans, but the pot continued to produce more stew.

Finally one night, when his wife was sound asleep, he snuck the pot out of the house and far into the woods, and left it there. Upon his return, he scattered utensils about the yard and left the kitchen door open. When his wife awoke the next morning, he feigned ignorance of the matter.

“A bear,” he declared. “A bear must have smelled the food and carried it off.” His wife resigned herself to cooking again.

He thought the problem was solved, but several months later he returned home from a trip and smelled the familiar odor of rutabaga stew.

“Look!” exclaimed his wife. “Look what I found this morning in the yard! Our pot of stew!”

“How can that be?” he asked. He examined the ground. There in the dirt were the distinct impressions of bear paws. The imprints were deep as they headed into the yard, and somewhat shallower as they headed back into the woods.

That man’s wife is still serving the stew. They no longer eat it themselves, though. Instead, the man convinced his wife to open a small rest stop outside their home. There his wife serves weary travellers just the one item, plus day-old bread.

It is quite cheap. If you want some I’ll give you the address.

Copyright © 2013 Laurie J. Anderson. All rights reserved.