There are many ways to celebrate the fourth of July, but enthusiasm should be tempered with caution. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
- Always make sure that your Roman candles are pointed away from yourself.
- Do not come between a cannon and a countdown.
- Make certain that any mortars you light are not aimed at occupied buildings, including chicken houses.
If you discover too late that your rockets were indeed aimed at an egg production facility, it may help to know that a sudden shock to birds helps to prevent avian flu. Tell the owner of the demolished chicken shed that the surviving flock will be stronger and more disease-resistant. A few birds may be lost and the feather quality of those remaining may suffer, but what a small price to pay for peace of mind regarding the health of the rest of flock!
This should buy you enough time to catch the next train out of town.
copyright ©2011 Laurie J. Anderson, all rights reserved.
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