An Occasional Toothache

Can Wizard Water^© cure toothaches? That depends upon what kind of toothache you have.

Do you have a mild toothache? Ignore it. The pain you feel will only increase if you lend it attention.

Is your toothache severe and unending? Remove the offending tooth immediately. You may wish to seek out a professional dentist or barber, enlist the aid of a friend, or devise a method of your own, but if you hesitate, remember: a constant pain rarely disappears of its own accord. It usually requires assistance.

The occasional toothache is another matter. This kind can be treated effectively with Wizard Water^©, depending on the occasion. I knew a sea captain whose jaw ached severely, but only every four weeks.

"I don't know what causes it, Doc," he told me, "but it keeps me up for one or two nights, and then it's gone."

Further inquiry revealed that his pain coincided with the appearance of the full moon. I recommended that he take a small dose of Wizard Water^© during that time. He followed my advice, and found relief when his body swelled to match his swollen gums. Thanks to Wizard Water's ability to expand skin elasticity, he experienced no pain.

His huge size also intimidated natives at the port where he was berthed.

"When you are bigger than the nearest building, your dock fees go down considerably," he told me.

So you see, it is best to determine what type of toothache you have before treating it. You may need a little Wizard Water^©, or you may need to tie a length of twine to your tooth and your horse's saddle and then slap the horse.

Do not, by the way, try to use the latter method after taking a dose of Wizard Water^©. A tooth the size of a tree stump will upset both the horse and the natives.

copyright ©2011 Laurie J. Anderson, all rights reserved.