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Eat two large dill pickles, one after the other, then take a half-gallon of boiled cider followed by 10 or 12 sausages and a plateful of fried potatoes. Get on your horse and ride several times around your house at a gallop. When you dismount, eat some hot Indian fry bread, a pound of sauerkraut, and wash it all down with at least a quart of buttermilk. This treatment will definitely give you indigestion.* * *
p.s. I don’t know who would want indigestion, but you never know what your audience will find useful.
