On the Subject of Birthdays

Birthdays should always be celebrated with as much excess as possible. No celebratory depth should remain unplumbed; no height unscaled.

Don't just let friends sing to you, hire a terrier trained to howl a Verdi aria as well.

If drinks are free, drink as much as possible. When your host offers a toast to your health, toast him in return  - and keep toasting until you've used up a case of your favorite beverage.

Likewise, while candles are a common way to remember the passage of years, Roman candles make a stronger impact. Light a set of three dozen or more Roman candles on your apple cake, and neither you nor your guests will soon forget the event.

In other words, on your birthday don't settle for the expected. Insist on the extreme; also on a ready ticket out of town.
Copyright © 2012 Laurie J. Anderson. All rights reserved.