A Christmas Dinner

There is nothing like a plate full of roast beef, goose paté, oyster croquettes, potatoes mashed with chives and heavy cream, cranberry jelly, pickles and soft white bread rolls with sweet butter, followed by Neapolitan ice cream, plum pudding, coconut cake, Madeira wine, a good imported whiskey and a Cuban cigar.

Unfortunately, my wife only cooks what is near at hand. Once again our holiday table is laid out with roast possum, fried hog's feet, cornbread dressing, applesauce, pickled green beans, sweet potato pie, apple cider and coffee.

In an effort to help, I told her that I've had much better meals in New York city, as well as Boston and New Orleans. "Your cooking lacks sophistication," I said. "We need a more cosmopolitan table."

She invited her mother from Atlanta.

I am not sure if she is trying to comply or shut me up.

Copyright © 2011 Laurie J. Anderson. All rights reserved.