Wizard Water Spring Tonic

Spring is here at last! If a long winter of salt pork and beans has given you a bad case of scurvy, may I suggest Doc Johnson’s Wondrous Wizard Water Spring Tonic^©. The Tonic has the same ingredients as plain Wizard Water^©, but with the addition of sarsaparilla, sassafras, mint and ramps. Sarsparilla treats arthritis and gives you lots of energy. Sassafras clears the lungs and reduces scurvy. Mint refreshes the mind -- and good, strong, garlic-flavored ramps strengthens the body's resistance to illness by keeping people far, far away.