Sunday, March 25, 2012

Accosted at Gunpoint

I was accosted at gunpoint Doc_with_gunand robbed by several desperate cowboys on Saturday. I drew my gun, but they managed to escape.


As luck would have it, a masked man rode up and offered to help.

He enlisted the aid of last_blastthe local sheriff, and the offenders were quickly dealt with. The chief bandit went down in a blaze of gunfire.

I offered the masked man a free bottle of Wizard Water© as a reward, but he declined.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A Busy Saturday

This coming Saturday, March 24, I'll be at the Wild West Fest at Jim Miller Park in Marietta, Georgia, sharing my wondrous elixir with the local cowboy population and any ranch hands who care to stop by.

After that I'll travel to Cumming, some miles to the northeast, for a special presentation of the Mountain Music and Medicine Show. Musical guests will be Whitepath and Spontaneous Cracker Eruption, among others.

Hope to see you at one of these events -- or both!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Time Travel

I met a man who claimed to have invented a machine that would allow him to "jump" through time.

"'Jump'?" I asked him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," said the fellow, "that when you enter my device and turn the dial, you hop to the time indicated, moving over all the boring parts in between."

"That could come in quite handy," I said.

"Yes, but there are still a few problems to be ironed out," he replied.

"Problems? Such as - ?"

"Hard landings," said he. "The further forward or backward that you go, the harder you hit the Present when you stop. It feels like you are slamming into a wall or the ground after leaping off a building.

"I jumped a week ahead, for example, and twisted my ankle. When I tried hopping to last year's national meeting of the Grand Fraternal Order of Ironmongers, to which I belong, I felt like I'd leapt off a three-story building and rolled into a moving train. I broke a leg and a wrist, and my head hurt for a month.

"So my device is not practical yet, I'm afraid. And until I can make it safe, I will no longer travel through time except at the usual speed," he added.

"I don't want to risk jumping to a final conclusion."

Copyright © 2012 Laurie J. Anderson. All rights reserved.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Back in Dahlonega


I was up in Dahlonega, Georgia again last night to host another Mountain Music & Medicine Show. We had a large crowd, and some of them were even attending on purpose. The musicians were terrific. Little Country Giants, Kinney & Blackmon, and Smokey's Farmland Band all played loud and lively enough to cause the chairs to vibrate and the roof to lose a few shingles. The crowd was very enthusiastic.

The audience was so enthusiastic, in fact, that they bought very little of my elixir! They were too energized by the music. I must take that into account the next time I visit North Georgia. My show must be entertaining and uplifting, but not too uplifting. Somewhere between a funeral dirge and a zydeco marathon, I should think. But with mandolins.