Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Life of a Business Man

Doc and Thaddeus Augustus

It's been a busy week. While in Cartersville, I unwisely left a box of gunpowder near Bleb's feedbag. Bleb is not particular about what he eats. A day later, after I won the shooting contest award for originality, Bleb broke wind and most of the Wizard Water© bottles as well. He was at least a quarter mile away from the crowds, but the sound was quite clear.

Despite losing most of my product I nearly made a profit in Cartersville. That is, until someone pointed out that most card decks don't carry seven aces. I tried to explain that it was a French deck, but the gentlemen at the table felt that it was best if I played by American rules. Then, considering my involvement in the earlier incidents, they insisted that I return all funds and leave town as soon as possible. I thought this was very generous of them, because most gambling establishments don't give you a running head start.

Since then I've been busy restocking my Wizard Water© supply. I should be ready for my appointment in Dahlonega this coming weekend. I will be there at the usual spot on Saturday, Nov. 6, if the sheriff doesn't object.

copyright ©2010 Laurie J. Anderson, all rights reserved.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Another Day in Cartersville

Doc Johnson shooting silk

I have just returned from the Cowboy Festival at Cartersville, Georgia. I am very tired and all out of bullets. Actually I forgot to pack bullets and had to use scarves. When the judges of the shooting contest asked me why, I told them that that is the way they are now doing it in France.

cowboy reenactors

I did not win, but I did get a prize for originality. Many thanks to "Doc" Stovall, Sheryl, Liz and all the folks who put this event together.

More later, after I've had a chance to feed Bleb.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Going, Going, Gone

Doc JohnsonAnother Gold Rush Days festival has come and gone and I'm happy to report that it went so well this year that when it was over I didn't need an escort to the county line.

Chris Smith and Steve Shaw held onto their title for fastest cross-cut sawing team, even though I kept my promise not to sell any Wizard Water© to them before the contest (last year they won in under 30 seconds. This year it took them over a minute). Steve ShawHannah Davis, age seven, was named Best of Show in the costume contest for a dress her mother had worn when she was Hannah's age. Gold Rush King and Queen Dr. Larry and Sallie Joe Sorohan were crowned by their grandchildren Alex and Griffin. Hannah DavisBenny Armour (pictured below in the white cap), who has been transporting the parade's Grand Marshals in his horse-drawn wagon since 1966, was named Grand Marshal himself and got to pick his co-rider in the shotgun seat for a change. Members of the Golden Eagle Band of North Georgia State College and University (NGCSU) found someone Benny Arnoldto unlock the room where their instruments were stored in time to march in the parade. Holden Ross beat a formidable group of older contestants to win this year's hog-calling contest, and the grandmotherly Brenda Evans beat out a much younger set of competitors in the buck dancing contest Brenda Evans(and no Wizard Water© was involved there, either)! My wife enjoyed fresh chicken tamales made by the good ladies of St. Luke's, and purchased some blackberry jam and locally grown tomatoes and apples at the farmer's market in Hancock Park just off the downtown square. I enjoyed some ham biscuits, corn bread, beans and rice, and porkchops-on-a-stick.

Many thanks to Wayne and Sabrina Gooch for their hospitality, and to the Jaycees who run this festival and handle the myriad of challenges that come their way. They not only oversaw the vendors, contests and parade, but they have promised town officials that they will retrieve all hogs still found within city limits by noon tomorrow.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Going for the Gold

Doc Johnson at GoldRushI'll be up in Dahlonega, Georgia again Saturday and Sunday October 16 & 17 to emcee the annual Gold Rush Days festival. There will be food, crafts, contests, live music and on Saturday afternoon a big parade! Besides the proud marching cadets from the North Georgia College and State University, this year's parade will include folks in recyclable costumes! I'm not sure if that means they'll be wearing last year's costumes or riding unicycles, but you can be sure they will be eye-catching! Will Miss Sadie Bafile reclaim her buck-dancing title from last year's winner, Miss Maggie Dyer? Will Chris Smith and Steve Shaw hold onto their title for fastest cross-cut sawing team? Who will win the wheelbarrow race? Can anyone beat Amy Masten at the hog-calling contest? You can only find out if you're there!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Mining for Silver

I once resided in a cabin out west where I'd staked a claim on a small tract of land that I was certain would produce silver.

A terrible windstorm blew through one night and moved my cabin down the mountain and halfway into the local saloon. When the owner complained, I showed him my property deed. It stated that I owned mining rights to all land within a quarter mile of my boundary marker. The marker was inside the center of my cabin. (I had, with great foresight, placed it there to prevent would-be property thieves from moving it.)

The saloon owner took issue with my claim. He did not want a stranger tunneling under his business. I offered a compromise: I would extract gold from a different quarry in exchange for renting him the mining rights to his saloon. He agreed. For several months thereafter I ran a very profitable faro table on the floor of his establishment while he dug beneath it.

My gambling business would have continued had not another storm blown my cabin back up the mountain. The wind was so fierce that it also blew out several tunnel shafts begun by the saloon owner. The shafts slammed into the mountainside, barely missing my cabin. A quick examination of these tunnels proved my silver claim to be worthless, so I attempted to recoup my investment by suing the saloon owner for property damage.

He was disinclined to pay me or to wait for the circuit judge's monthly visit. He instead hired a posse of a dozen or so of my former faro clients and tried to settle with me out of court. I left to seek my fortune elsewhere. Mining is a tricky business -- before you jump into it, consider all the angles!

copyright ©2010 Laurie J. Anderson, all rights reserved.