Sunday, August 23, 2009

Gravity

Gravity is comprised of two states: lightness and heaviness. Most of the time heaviness outweighs lightness, but sometimes a great enough volume of sparse matter can overcome a concentration of weight. You have seen this when balloons carry baskets into the air. The principle applies equally to humans and animals in other situations.

For example, Bleb and I were once ambushed by a pack of wolves, and we tried to escape by outrunning them. We came to a cliff and Bleb kept going, albeit in a somewhat downward direction. “Whoa!” I cried without thinking, and so Bleb halted -- just a few inches from the ground. From there we were able to safely step off and continue on our way.

We could not do that today, as both Bleb and I are weighted down with a heavy knowledge of the laws of physics. At the time, though, we were mighty ignorant. Ignorance is bliss, and bliss lightens your load considerably. The wolves, as you may guess, were smarter and therefore had to take the long, slow way down, by which time we were far afield.

This is not to say that I’m against education. You can earn much more money with a good vocabulary – otherwise I would not be able to sell Wizard Water©. I’m just saying that ignorance also has its uses.

As for gravity, good humor also helps to lift any weight – that’s why humor is also called levity.

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[Note: Others have claimed to escape danger in the same way as described above, but none to my knowledge have explained as I have just how it works.]

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