Monday, November 3, 2008

Doc’s Thoughts on Politics

muleMy mule Bleb once served as mayor of a town out West. The human mayors tended to die of gunshot wounds, and when the townsfolk saw him help me with the medicine show (Bleb could laugh on cue), it occurred to several folks that a real jackass might work out better in their highest elected office. We declined at first, but we were caught leaving town and brought back, and Bleb occupied the mayoral seat (from a barn) for six months. We would still be there, but they discovered that Bleb had not been born in the territory and therefore was not a legal resident. Also, they located a trained dog who could shake hands better. The mayoral service paid rather well and I was sorry Bleb was unseated. It should be legal to elect animals to high office, though, when qualified humans are in short supply.

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Little known facts: Paul Revere and the Sons of Liberty planned the Boston Tea Party over pints of ale in a tavern. As a young lawyer Abe Lincoln owned several taverns, and after he and Stephen A. Douglas debated, they both quenched their thirst in a saloon. Bars and saloons are patriotic. They encourage commerce, freedom of speech, and the pursuit of happiness. That’s why I say: More polling places should be in saloons.

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Always vote for the man who will pay you the most. Take the money up front, though – any man who makes his living off of promises can’t be trusted. Believe me, I’ve had some experience with this.

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You should vote as often as you can get away with it.

copyright ©2008 Laurie J. Anderson, all rights reserved.

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